Top 8 Self Sabotage Mistakes We Make – Attitude and Mindset for Prosperity, Goals and Success

You want to succeed. You want progress. You want great meaning in your life.

Sure, I don’t know you. But science (neuro-science and psychological science) tell us that every human being needs these things (and a few others).

This article outlines for you 8 of the top reasons almost everyone who ever lives does not live as purposeful and successful a life as they could have.

In these 8 things, you will find necessary mindset (attitude) adjustments we must make, optimize and habitually manage to achieve habitual self-motivation, peak performance and ultimate success.


Mindset matters. A lot.

With a positive, driven mindset, we will achieve incredible things.

With a pessimistic or otherwise mindset, we will defeat ourselves.

We all self-sabotage sometimes and to some degree.

Most people make a habit of this.

But we can control this. Here are the top 8 ways we most often sabotage ourselves and, most importantly, mindset and success strategies for limiting or destroying self-sabotage.

1. Poor Self Confidence. You don’t believe in yourself.

This is a self-fulfilling prophesy. After all, why even try if you know you’ll fail.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Ask yourself what beliefs you have that you are or will be a failure. Brainstorm until your gut tells you that you have identified the culprit(s).

Come up with three historical incidents that prove all limiting beliefs false.

For example: You want to start a business, but fear you will fail because you’ve never done it or you’ve tried before and it didn’t work out.

Ask yourself: When have I tried something new and succeeded? Don’t be literal. Be honest, but creative and generous. Find times when you have succeeded at something new, then make the valid argument that you can and will succeed in your business.

2. You don’t believe in your dream.

This can fall into at least two different categories:

Refer to #1 above: you don’t really believe in yourself and or your ability to make it happen.

You have chosen someone else’s dream or a sloppy, poorly thought out dream.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Refer to the advice under #1 above if you don’t believe in yourself.

Is your dream one you sloppily picked up from your family or culture? For example: you want to be a doctor because the culture says being a doc is a good thing. Or, are you choosing your family’s or friends’ dream for you?

Ask yourself why you want this. Will it bring you intrinsic fulfillment? (As opposed to extrinsic pleasure). Is there anything else that brings you more intrinsic fulfillment?

In all cases, ask yourself “what will it realistically take to prevail?

Am I willing to do what it takes?” (Now isn’t necessarily the time for optimism. Analyze under worst case and most likely case. That is, unless this truly is your one passion and you are willing to sacrifice anything to make it happen. Then I would advise throwing out any and all doubt.)

3. You tend to seek negatives in life, circumstances or others.

Studies show optimists are happier, healthier and more successful. If you seek or tend to find negatives in situations and people, you are most likely negatively affecting many areas of your life, including risk-taking, creativity and relationship building.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Remain self-aware. Make it a rule to catch yourself whenever you think or feel negativity, including judgment, resentment, anger, fear, etc.

Don’t be hard on yourself. You are human. Your brain naturally seeks threats. Be compassionate, understanding, patient and loving with yourself.

When you catch yourself going negative, make it a rule that you ask yourself “what is positive about this situation or person.”

4. You seek and take the path of least resistance.

Along with seeking threats, this is a natural tendency of our brains. This increased the probability of survival during the hundreds of millennia the human brain developed.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Again, self-awareness. Identify when you are taking the path of least resistance.

Learn to savor the exhilaration of challenge and success. The famous saying is so true: “the magic happens when we move out of our comfort zone.”

As long as you and others are physically and psychologically safe and as long as you are living to your highest values, make moving out of your comfort zone emotionally and psychologically pleasurable and rewarding. Each time you do move out of your comfort zone, create heightened pleasure, joy and pride within. Feel it. Celebrate it. Congratulate yourself on your slaying fear and timidity.

5. You can no longer see the trees for the forest or the forest for the trees.

Most of us take a job because it will pay better than most or all other opportunities. Or because there are no other opportunities. Even if we take it because we think it’s a stepping stone to our dream, there is a tendency to lose the forest (life vision) for the trees (current responsibilities), as well as the trees (what action we can take today to move towards our ultimate life vision) for the forest (again, overwhelmed with the plethora of current responsibilities).

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Visit or revisit your highest values, virtues life vision or life purpose. Your purpose is likely to be that thing that brings you the greatest intrinsic fulfillment (meaning) that also serves other people.

Then ask yourself how you can live in and pursue your highest virtues, values and vision from within your current work. Follow this path with your greatest intention, attention and action.

If your current work precludes actualize your highest self, then find out what will and what you have to do to successfully move in that direction.

6. You give in to the drug of avoidance.

You spend more than an hour a day, on average, playing video games, watching TV or internet surfing. Like most people, you probably spend three to four hours a day doing these things. That is because the immediate chemical/emotional high (video games) or numbing (TV or surfing) is easier and more pleasurable to you than is investing your time and energy in personal and professional development.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

The best solution to this self-sabotaging inclination is to attack from the positive motivation and negative motivation perspectives:

i) After meditating, visualize clearly — that is, vividly see, hear and feel yourself living your greatest life purpose, goals and passions successfully, fully, massively. Let this pull you forward, providing inspiration, motivation and energy, while it also provides a clear, specific point you habitually move towards.

ii) Also create a deep, intrinsic level of frustration and emotional pain and associate these negatives intimately to those activities you typically use to waste time — such as video games and internet surfing.

By approaching this from intrinsic fulfillment and intrinsic pain, you boost the positive and negative motivation factors.

A word of advice. Most people are most motivated by moving away from pain. More so than by moving towards pleasure and fulfillment. So, use the power of negative motivation factors.

This said, it is important to spend more time, focus and energy on positive, purpose and passion motivation. And always end visualizations on your positive motivators. I won’t go into the reasons here, but just know that it’s wise to spend more time on where you are going, as it is also important to end visualizations on positive motivators.

7. Fear baby.

Our brains naturally seek threats. Fear comes from what appears to be a threat. Understand your brain naturally seeks threats (as noted above).

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Recognize you are almost certainly naturally risk-averse as a vestige of the evolution of your brain. This may be working against you.

Analyze situations for true threat. Ask yourself “what is the worst that could happen here? What is most likely?” If you can live with “most likely,” and if the worst case is unlikely and if the potential upside is meaningful, take a risk. Great things always require great risk.

Do you want a great life? Or a safe life? Either is OK, but know who you are and make decisions appropriate to your soul, not your fearful mind.

8. Indecision.

Indecision most often arises out of one of two things: fear (addressed above) or not knowing or living your highest values.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

As mentioned above, brainstorm your highest virtues, values and life purpose. People who know, trust and are set in these three things are highly decisive and rarely, if ever, indecisive.

When we know who we are, what we are about, what is most important to us, it’s easy to act. We intuitively know what decision is in alignment with our highest selves and vision. And if we are synchronized with these things, we will always act based on values, virtues and vision and not on fear, laziness or indecision.

A few closing words. When we know ourselves. When we have clearly defined virtues, values and vision. And when we craft and feel genuine self-love – not to be confused with arrogance, superiority or bravado – and a passion to make a difference in the world, we likely will not experience, and certainly won’t succumb, to these most common obstacles.

Peace, prosperity and positive personal power my friends.